It’s my blog and I’ll post what I want to

ad87c11ca427ebbf445245e39267d475-jpgI haven’t posted on my blog in almost 2 months, so if this has appeared in your blogger feed and you’re wondering who the hell Lolarainx is I’m not surprised.

I’ve had this blog for almost 3 years now and have been actively posting on it for 2 years. This is my 5th blog I’ve had and the only one I’ve not giving up on after a few weeks. And I did really enjoy posting on this blog… until about 4 months ago.

I found the content I wanted to post vs the content people liked was different. Product review posts always get the most likes, comments and views by far and I usually gain around 3-5 followers (not a lot for most, but a lot if you’re a small blogger like me) after every review. Yet I hated doing reviews. I didn’t mind doing the occasional one, but I was posting reviews every single week, sometimes twice a week and I just found it so boring. Every now and then there would be a product I was really excited to write about it and I’m always excited to talk about books I’ve read but it’s not something I want to do all the time.

I love writing about makeup, books, life and fashion but the posts I want to write gain little to no attention. Which does make me feel sad when it feels like I’m just putting words out there and no one is reading them. Yet I’ve been continuing to push on and on and working hard to keep posting.

Then about 2 months ago I went back to Uni and was met with an avalanche of work. It became a choice between my uni work, writing my novel and running this blog. I could only do 2 out of the 3 and I choose to stop writing my blog. I was technically still writing, as I was planning posts for January and February of 2017 but I just wasn’t posting anything, so as a result it seemed like I had disappeared. But then even planning became a chore. I would have to first plan the post, write it, edit it, take pictures, edit the pictures, put it all together, read and review, tag and then schedule. I am not someone who’s very good with editing in general. I’m also terrible at talking photos. I’ve been trying to take flat lay pictures for my blog for a while now, but for some reason I’m just terrible at them. I do all the hints and tips other blogs and YouTubers tell me to do but it just looks awful. This put a major slump in my blogging as I didn’t want to put anything out that didn’t look good.

Blogging sometimes feels like a job, and nothing should feel like a job unless you’re being paid for it. I was stressed out after a long day at uni and after coming home and writing my novel I just wanted to sleep. Knowing I had to write on my blog just made me unhappy and as a result my posts suffered. There’s this lyric from It’s Not Right For You by The Script, “Is this the life you’ve been dreaming of, Spending half the day away from the things you love?, It’s not too late to do something new. She said, It’s hard enough trying to live your life. But not following your dreams made you dead inside. If you don’t love what you do.” I relate to this a lot. I love writing more than anything but often have to put it aside to work on uni projects and blogging.

I’m not quitting blogging. I’m just not going to post as often as I have done in the past. That may be 1 post a month about I don’t know… frogs or there may be 12 posts a month that are just reviews. And that’s okay. Because as the title says, It’s my blog and I’ll post what I want to.

Sorry if this was maybe a bit rude or passive aggressive, I’m just speaking my mind and sometimes I find my words and expressions can come off very negative.